How to Make a Real New Year Resolution

Fireworks
Fireworks

New Years Resolutions encompass many deep desires. I think that our true resolutions are grounded in our deepest desires, although these aren’t always spoken. I find that many spoken resolutions are based upon expectations of society, our family & friends. Quite often these expectations might be related somehow to our true desires, but why should we wish for them.

I encourage everyone to think about their New Years Resolution. Grab a beverage and step off the merry-go-round we call life and truly think about what would make your world, better for you. Make a resolution that is extremely personal, even if you don’t share it.

The Thinking Man sculpture at Musée Rodin in Paris
Image via Wikipedia

OK, so now you know what you want, make it positive. Don’t put yourself down, lift yourself up! Let’s have an example. Say you have been single for a while and that your deepest desire is to share your life again, to be in a relationship. Saying to yourself you want someone to love – isn’t it! You don’t want a one way relationship do you? How about saying I want a wonderful long lasting relationship, with mutual respect, love and sharing of interests. Now of course that may not be your desire but an example of how to do it! A common resolution is weight – so instead of saying I need to loose weight try I want to look fabulous in a size ?? Keep it realistic.

My first reason for saying this is when you have a real picture of what your goal is – it greatly increases your motivation to achieve that goal.

My second reason for saying this is, you think about resolutions therefore they should never be putting you down, just lifting you up to where you should be.

I wish only outstanding success for all of you. Whatever your New Years Resolution is, make it great, make it yours, make it happen, YOU DESERVE IT!

Have a fabulous New Year and may 2012 be your very best year yet! x

Feel free to check out my other Blogs!
* Making up with Key People in Your Life
* Deeliciousoz Thoughts

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How to approach Girls – by a Girl!

Find Out More

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Holidays Making Me Lonely

Zebra Crossing

Image by flöschen via Flickr

I ponder these thoughts after speaking to a friend of many years this morning explaning that this was her worst time of the year for feeling lonely. She went on to explain that her family was spread far & wide and could not get together for Christmas as many families do. She had been unwell & unable to travel this year, so for the first time, spent Christmas alone. This could happen to anyone.

What I found interesting was she would have been more than welcome, at my house. When I told her that, she told me she was too embarrassed to tell anyone. If only had known, I would have offered, gone to pick her up and included her in our family celebrations.

Now if this can happen to a friend of many years, one I care for and contact regularly, I’m pretty sure it is happening alot!

Later today I was chatting to a friends daughter , just home for Christmas. She lives away, really only has contact with her family here. As we were talking, she said something that shocked me “I feel lonely when I’m at home, my world just isn’t like this, at all”. She went on to say she loved her family but felt lonely, when isolated from her friends & her normal life.

So when we are thinking of loneliness so many other emotions are attached, it can be difficult to try and nail the feeling. However I put it to you we should all be considering loneliness in the holidays, reach out a hand, give a smile or a hug.

 More than ever this is a time to let people you come in contact with know, they are not alone!

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We are social creatures!

The Chess Players by Honoré Daumier (1863)

Image via Wikipedia

For years, in addition to dealing with my own impaired judgment, I have watched both my male and female friends alike struggle to relate to the opposite sex.  We find ourselves constantly misinterpreting the actions of the other, justifying ill behavior but then -worst of all- we are guilty of repeating the same mistakes over and over with each new person we meet. Do we really want to get hurt!

I do not think it is possible to live a life of love that is worry free, because lets face it, there is no such thing as perfection. However, there are certain dating mistakes that are possible to avoid and worth avoiding. “I’ll call you” “I want to be with you” these words mean NOTHING until they happen. Think about it. People like to talk. We are constantly making promises that we never intend to keep and we say things  because we think it is what they want to hear. Words mean nothing unless they are given life by actions!

If you are interested, tell her! This goes back to my favorite rule “actions speak louder than words.” In saying that, girls don’t just sit back and relax while the man does all the work, it is give and take. However, it is the guy’s job to get the ball rolling. Most guys seem to carry the “fear of rejection” gene, if only there were a put it on the table gene. Some situation may require you to take a leap of faith. Just remember: “It is better to have tried and failed then to have never tried at all.”

I think we all feel the pinch of being single at various times,if it’s not our desired state. Unfortunately this is true more than ever on the holiday periods. It’s natural to want to share your experiences, after all we are social creatures by design. Who doesn’t want to ‘feel the love’.

Internet dating has become a huge phenomenon in our society. After speaking to a few friends, it seems to be a very controversial subject as well. Many important questions arise when thinking about this new concept. EG: “Is this process simply a result of a changing lifestyle? There are limits to the amount of free time and social interaction that modern people have? Is it like ‘blind dating’ or does the varied ways of communicating and volume of information that comes with a prospective dater’s profile make it more personal? Is this the next natural step in a world that seemingly is without barriers due to the Internet? Is it a less human way of meeting someone than the traditional ways? Or, could this finally be a way to find, judge and rate, your true soul mate in a way that was not possible before.

The sites are pretty user friendly. You can usually go and look at a site’s galleries so you can see some of the faces and biographies of people that meet your search criteria. Many are free to join, which means that you can put your profile online for free.  Contacting is mostly charged, however I have been told there are some free sites too. There are numerous ways that you can get to know each other on the Internet, you can use audio/video instant messaging, video profiles, private or anonymous email, online chatting (some with webcams), exchange of photographs, as well as message boards and the ability to see which site members are online when you are.

So back to the important questions, what do you think of this new concept for interaction?  The middle path or ‘sitting on the fence’ is often the safest one to take when considering human existence. Personally, I would like to see a world where we each have time for social interaction, where the pressures of the financial life have a place in our lives along with ample relaxed, quality social time.

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Documentary on Real Relationships

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Could texting be the trick to modern Romance?

English: cell phone

Image via Wikipedia

“Remote Control Romance”

Do you think men are “complicated?”

If you do, you’re not alone. Most women seem to think that men should come with an instruction manual…

Or that getting a man to be “romantic” is as hard as getting lasting peace in the middle east.

But thousands of women are discovering that waking up the “secret romantic” in their men is as easy as hitting a few buttons on their cell phone and sending a few “special” messages that have been proven again and again to work wonders.

Why Men Aren’t Romantic

The fact is, most men secretly crave romance at least as much as you do… but they’re either too distracted, too emotionally closed off, or too shy to tell you how they really feel or to sweep you off your feet.

But simply by using a few text messages sent from your average cell phone you can give him permission to be “unapologetically romantic”… to open up and tell you how he really feels, and to take you back in a “Relationship Time Machine” so you love each other (and lust after each other) like you did when you first met.

Incredible Video

If you want to learn more, go watch this short (but eye-opening) video by relationship expert Michael Fiore. In the video you’ll learn the real reason romance “dies” in most relationships…

The 3 things your man needs from you in order to “open up” to his secret romantic desires…

And how to use tiny little text messages to turn your guy into a bonafide “Prince Charming,” even if he’s a total “Romantic Numbskull” now.

Click Here!

This “Text The Romance Back” method has been featured on The Rachael Ray Show and has helped tens of thousands of women around the world. It sounds shocking, but it really does work.

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The force that joins us!

English: Front cover italian version organic c...

Image via Wikipedia

Let’s start with chemistry. Like magnets that either attract or repel, chemistry
either brings us closer or creates an invisible distance. So what is chemistry?
Ask ten different people and chances are, you’ll have 10 different answers. A person’s outward appearance? The sound of their voice? Their smell? Their ability to be confident? Their aura? Really it can be a combination of individual factors or all of the above? In any case, we don’t need to define chemistry we just need to recognise whether or not we feel it in our romantic relationships.

I remember doing experiments with magnets with my children, that had similar effects as chemistry in human relationships. If you had the magnets one way they draw together with a force, however hold one in reverse and they wouldn’t hold together at all. In fact they repelled each other.

You know that feeling you sometimes get when meeting someone new, positive or negative you don’t know how, it’s just there. That’s chemistry!

Sometimes chemistry happens with someone unexpected – not the right height, different weight, too young or too old, wrong hair, etc. Amazingly we can’t fight the urge to get close to this person, yet they don’t meet our picture of who our perfect partner is. There are times people choose their partner based on a list of personal preferences or preconceived ideas of who they think a perfect match should be, with no thought of the chemistry between them.

Chemistry knows no boundaries and it isn’t driven by logic or reasons . It isn’t going to always match you idea of a perfect mate. There is no way to fake it, it is either there or not! With the absence of chemistry, the romance will fizzle sooner or later.

Remember, chemistry starts the fire and helps keep the fire burning. This partly explains why many promising relationships falter despite both people doing their best. The chemistry we feel or don’t feel is part of being human. It’s embedded in our DNA and that’s just too much for me to explain.

What I can say is some people confuse chemistry with love. Love takes time to develop, but with chemistry you might not feel it instantly, but you should feel it early on in a relationship. No chemistry, well then you are missing a key ingredient. When
chemistry is right, it’s usually felt in a big way.

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Some tips from those who know!

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We are social creatures!

For years, in addition to dealing with my own impaired judgment, I have watched both my male and female friends alike struggle to relate to the opposite sex.  We find ourselves constantly misinterpreting the actions of the other, justifying ill behavior but then -worst of all- we are guilty of repeating the same mistakes over and over with each new person we meet. Do we really want to get hurt!

I do not think it is possible to live a life of love that is worry free, because lets face it, there is no such thing as perfection. However, there are certain dating mistakes that are possible to avoid and worth avoiding. “I’ll call you” “I want to be with you” these words mean NOTHING until they happen. Think about it. People like to talk. We are constantly making promises that we never intend to keep and we say things  because we think it is what they want to hear. Words mean nothing unless they are given life by actions!

If you are interested, tell her! This goes back to my favorite rule “actions speak louder than words.” In saying that, girls don’t just sit back and relax while the man does all the work, it is give and take. However, it is the guy’s job to get the ball rolling. Most guys seem to carry the “fear of rejection” gene, if only there were a put it on the table gene. Some situation may require you to take a leap of faith. Just remember: “It is better to have tried and failed then to have never tried at all.”

I think we all feel the pinch of being single at various times,if it’s not our desired state. Unfortunately this is true more than ever on the holiday periods. It’s natural to want to share your experiences, after all we are social creatures by design. Who doesn’t want to ‘feel the love’.

Internet dating has become a huge phenomenon in our society. After speaking to a few friends, it seems to be a very controversial subject as well. Many important questions arise when thinking about this new concept. EG: “Is this process simply a result of a changing lifestyle? There are limits to the amount of free time and social interaction that modern people have? Is it like ‘blind dating’ or does the varied ways of communicating and volume of information that comes with a prospective dater’s profile make it more personal? Is this the next natural step in a world that seemingly is without barriers due to the Internet? Is it a less human way of meeting someone than the traditional ways? Or, could this finally be a way to find, judge and rate, your true soul mate in a way that was not possible before.

The sites are pretty user friendly. You can usually go and look at a site’s galleries so you can see some of the faces and biographies of people that meet your search criteria. Many are free to join, which means that you can put your profile online for free.  Contacting is mostly charged, however I have been told there are some free sites too. There are numerous ways that you can get to know each other on the Internet, you can use audio/video instant messaging, video profiles, private or anonymous email, online chatting (some with webcams), exchange of photographs, as well as message boards and the ability to see which site members are online when you are.

So back to the important questions, what do you think of this new concept for interaction?  The middle path or ‘sitting on the fence’ is often the safest one to take when considering human existence. Personally, I would like to see a world where we each have time for social interaction, where the pressures of the financial life have a place in our lives along with ample relaxed, quality social time.

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